Sunday, May 30, 2010

Change of plans

I don't handle change really well. I'll give you a couple of examples to enlighten you. Let's take my college experience. From my 3rd grade school year on I knew I wanted to be a school teacher. So, it was only logical that when I graduated college I went to a University whose speciality was teaching. When I enrolled in the program I met with my advisor who gave me a block of classes, when I should take those classes and any class I had to have before graduation. Then I met with the department chair who told me something different. I knew I was going for a ride on a roller coaster to he said she said hell but I buckled in and held on for 7 years! Yep 7 years. I do have 2 degrees to show for it but I wasn't a happy camper each time my graduation date rolled around.
Then there's the whole year of wedding planning only to be upstaged by a massive snow/ice storm. I had everything planned out and was going to be done the Wednesday before the wedding but then came the ice and the ice sucked up all the power. I eventually came to terms with it, changed a few things, cried, and dealt. Thankfully things went my way in the end but the point is I dealt.
Now comes a new hurdle in the baby making process and I'm not dealing so well. I don't know if it's because I want what I may not be able to have, feeling like I'm letting DH and our family down, or all the other crazy thoughts floating around inside my head but regardless I'm bitter, mad, sad. Too many emotions to express. So I'm going to continue to internalize more then post the craziness. Until then I could use some prayers, good thoughts, vibes whatever you can send my way. Love you all!

6 comments:

  1. Sending thoughts and prayers your way babe!

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  2. I have the same personality. I really get upset when I plan things a certain way, and they don't go as planned.

    Lots of prayers for you Allison. You will be an amazing mommy. If you need to talk, you know I'm always listening! :)

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  3. Allison, I'll be praying for you!

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  4. Praying for you my dear. Stay positive and if you ever need to talk we are here for you!

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  5. Lots of prayers and thoughts for you! Your time will come, I'm sure of it. Hang in there and be strong.

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  6. **hugs** Prayers and thoughts your way honey.

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